


when my mind is uncertain, my body decides

by stefonzolesky



Category: Ghostbusters (Movies 1984-1989)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, dana is wlw, ghostbusters is about being gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 13:19:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19401124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: Ray has never felt this safe, this okay, in his life.





	when my mind is uncertain, my body decides

It’s not that Ray isn’t happy. He’s totally happy. It’s not that Egon isn’t enough for him, because that’s not true. He could be happy with just Egon for the rest of his life. They could get married today -- well, not literally, but if it were legal, they could -- and he would be happy, because Egon is the love of his life.

So, maybe Peter was the first person he fell in love with. That doesn’t have anything to do with anything. 

And maybe college Ray would have given up everything he had just to kiss Peter. But Ray isn’t in college anymore, and he has Egon, now. He wouldn't give up Egon for Peter, not even if Peter asked him to. 

He wouldn't give up Egon for anything. 

It’s so mundane, though, the thing that makes him remember that he loved Peter. Maybe even still loves him.

It's been a particularly long day. Ray is falling asleep over his cereal, when Peter taps him on the shoulder and says, "Careful, Ray. Might wanna get some sleep."

Ray lifts his head slowly to see a lazy smile drawn on Peter’s lips as he makes his way towards the couch and sits down, arm sprawled across the back. He takes the remote and flips through the channels. Ray swivels in his chair to watch, and it’s like he’s in college all over again. 

“I’m going to bed,” Egon’s voice comes from behind him, startling Ray out of… whatever was happening inside his head. “Will you be up?”

Ray coughs. “Yeah.” He nods. “Definitely. Just… gotta finish my cereal. I’ll be right up.” 

Egon gives a nod, slow and calculating, like he’s trying to figure Ray out. He decidedly gives up, watching Ray carefully for another moment before heading up the stairs. Ray follows him with his eyes until he’s gone, then turns his gaze back towards Peter.

He stirs his spoon absently around in his bowl and then stands up, putting it in the sink. He wasn’t going to finish it anyway.

“I’m turning in,” He tells Peter. “Make sure you get some sleep, too.” 

Peter gives a nod in recognition, but he doesn’t say anything, eyes trained on the TV. Ray sighs and trudges up the stairs. 

Egon is laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, when Ray gets there. All the lights are off, but Ray can tell just how restless his boyfriend is.

He’s quiet when he climbs into bed next to him.

“I’m worried,” Egon admits quietly, once they’re settled. “About you. About us.”

Ray feels his mouth dry out. “Did I do something wrong?”

And even though Egon has always been blunt, Ray feels like he’s been punched in the stomach when he asks, “Are you still in love with Peter?”

He stammers and stutters for too long. 

“I love  _ you _ ,” He finally lands on, because it, decidedly, is the only thing he can say that isn’t a lie. 

Egon shifts next to him. “Yes, but--” He stops himself. Ray can feel Egon’s eyes drilling into the side of his head, analyzing him, but he doesn’t dare look. 

“I won’t leave you,” Ray promises, because it seems like that’s what Egon might be worried about. “I couldn’t. If that’s what you’re asking. Never. You mean too much to me, I love you too much to ever leave you." 

Egon lets out a breath next to him. “I’m not worried about that. I don’t doubt you, Ray. I never have, and I never will.”

Ray nods. He still can’t bring himself to look at Egon. His eyes scan for cracks in the ceiling. 

“If you love him, I can’t stop you from loving him,” Egon suddenly says. Ray blinks and finally rolls over to look at his boyfriend.

Egon seems pensive. Lost in his head.

“Egie, I’m not… gonna leave you. Even if I was still in love with Peter. He’d never… he’d never return my affections, at any rate.” 

“But if he did,” Egon presses. “And I’m not trying to push you into his arms or anything. I just don’t expect you to choose.” 

“Egon,” Ray says, desperate. He doesn’t understand what Egon is telling him, he doesn’t… 

“I suppose,” Egon starts. He chooses his words slowly and carefully, like he’s scared. “I’ve been a little bit in love with Peter, too. That’s assuming you are. I know you were. And I know this is a hard topic to approach. I’ve just… I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”

“As always,” Ray supplies, trying to lighten the mood.

Egon cracks a nervous smile. “Right. As always. And I think… Peter assumes that nobody’s immune to his… Venkman charm. I know you aren’t. You’ve never been. And I don’t think I am either.”

“He can never know you said that,” Ray says. “You know that, right? You can never let Peter know you just said that. He’ll hold it against you until the end of the world.” 

“I know,” Egon says, and in the dark, Ray can kind of see him smile. He shifts and settles his head against Egon’s chest, taking comfort in the way that Egon wraps his arm around Ray and pulls him a little closer.

“So we’re both kind of in love with Peter,” Ray summarizes, his eyes flitting up to try and look at Egon’s face without moving. “What are we gonna do about it?” 

“I think the only thing we can do is tell him,” Egon says quietly. He cards a hand through Ray’s hair carefully, and the simple motion relaxes Ray more than words could tell. “Or we could keep it from him, but he’s  _ Peter. _ He’ll know something is wrong. He’ll pull it out of us.”

“And if he doesn’t like it?” Ray asks.

Egon shrugs. “We’ve still got each other, right?” 

Ray nods. He yawns. 

“‘m tired,” He says quietly. 

Egon presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Go to sleep. We’ll deal with this tomorrow.” 

To say Ray has trouble focusing in the morning would be an understatement. Peter walks in the room and he forgets that he's making breakfast.

"Morning," Peter says, taking a seat. 

Ray turns away from the stove. "Uh. Morning."

Peter doesn't seem to notice anything. He picks up one of Ray's crossword puzzle books from the counter and flips through it absently. After a minute, he glances at Ray and asks, "Egon awake yet?"

"Yeah," Ray says, swallowing hard. "Yeah, he's awake, I… I'm making him breakfast, shit."

He turns back to the stove quickly, but it's too late. The near perfect bacon he was making is burning. He fumbles to shut off the stove and throw the food in the trash.

Peter snickers, clearly amused. "Something got you distracted? Egon too busy, you haven't been getting laid? Come on, you know you can tell ol' Petey your problems."

"Guess I'm just tired," Ray lies through his teeth. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

But Peter knows him well, and Peter is definitely onto him.

He slips two fingers under Ray's chin, tilts his head up, and asks, "What's going on?"

And Ray almost spills everything right then and there. He would have, if it weren't for Egon walking in the room.

Ray draws his head back and grabs Egon's collar when he rounds the counter, pulling him into a kiss.

"He knows something's up," He murmurs in Egon's ear, wrapping his arms around Egon's neck. "I don't know if I can do this."

Peter laughs from where he's sitting. "Get a room, you two."

Ray glances at him and scowls. "You're just jealous."

Peter shrugs, and they fall into silence.

Apparently, Ray can't handle silence. He knows that Egon's probably thought the whole thing out, and will give him a list of steps for them to abide by when dealing with this particular problem, but Ray's mouth betrays him.

"Peter, I'm in love with you," He blurts. He slaps a hand over his mouth, like he's hoping to catch the words, but they've already left his mouth. They're hanging in midair.

"Raymond," Egon hisses, but it's too late. The cat's out of the bag.

Peter is so startled that all he can do is laugh.

"I'm sorry, Pete," Ray says. His heart is pounding. He turns to Egon. "You probably had a plan."

Egon nods slowly, eyes wide.

"Sorry Egie," Ray mumbles.

"Well." Egon blinks. "It's no use now, is it?"

This silence lasts too long. It feels like years before Peter says something.

"What, am I missing something? Am I…" He hesitates. "You guys are dating. Ray, you're infatuated with Spengs."

Ray nods. "You're right."

"And you're in love with me?" And Ray swears he can hear Peter's voice crack.

"These aren't the ideal circumstances to address this problem, I know," Egon tells him, carefully slipping an arm around Ray's waist. "Ray and I were talking last night. It seems as if we've… both fallen for you. At different times. The overlap is now."

"Me since college," Ray admits. "It came and went. Although, now, I'm not so sure it ever  _ really _ went."

Peter nods slowly. He drums his fingers on the counter.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Peter says quietly. It's jarring. He's never this quiet, this thoughtful, this careful. "I don't… are you asking me to go out with you guys?"

Ray grimaces. "Basically. Yeah. But I know… I mean, your friendship is more important, so if you're not interested we can just forget about it."

Peter takes a shaky breath in. He stands up from his seat. "Can I just have a minute? I need to process this. I'm sorry."

Egon nods. They watch him go.

"That could have gone worse," Ray says. 

Egon pulls him a little closer.

"It also could have gone better."

Ray tugs his lower lip between his teeth. "Yeah. I guess we just have to wait."

Egon hesitates before he lets go of Ray’s waist. 

“I’m going to the lab,” He says quietly. “Perhaps a distraction will help, if you’d like to join me.” 

Ray hesitates. 

“I’ll meet you there,” He says, trying to ignore the dryness of his mouth. “I think I need a minute.” 

Egon nods and presses a kiss to Ray's temple.

"Everything's going to be alright," He promises.

Ray really wishes he could believe it would be.

Peter is gone for way too long. It's dinner before anyone even dares to bring up his name again.

"I don't think Venkman is going to come around," Ray admits quietly, spinning spaghetti on his fork with no real intention of eating it.

Egon frowns. "I know there's not much evidence pointing towards him being interested in men, but…"

Ray sighs and puts down his fork.

"Face it, Egie. As much as I'd love for this to go our way, it's just gonna be you and me. And if that's not enough for you, I'm sorry."

After a silence that's much too long for Ray's liking, Egon opens his mouth to say something.

But because Peter sits down at an empty chair, the words never leave Egon's mouth. Ray stares at his plate, fumbling for Egon's hand under the table. He can't bring himself to look at Peter. Not right now.

"You told me that you're in love with me this morning," Peter says bluntly. "Both of you. And now you won't even look at me? It's like love means something different to you two."

Ray pulls his lip between his teeth and glances at Peter sheepishly. Peter looks almost as nervous as Ray feels, which is saying something.

Egon squeezes his hand under the table in reassurance.

"Listen, Peter, I'm sorry--" Ray starts, but Peter holds up a hand, and his mouth snaps shut.

"I don't want either of you to say anything until I'm done, because you'll just act like idiots and I won't get to say what I need to say."

"That's fair enough," Egon says, and Peter fixes him with a glare.

"I mean it, Spengs. Not a word."

Egon nods. Ray mimes locking his lips closed.

"I've known you guys… for a pretty decent sized chunk of my life, wouldn't you say? And Ray, you said you've been sitting on this for pretty much the whole time I've known you. I don't want to think about how old I am, but that's twenty years, give or take a few. And I never thought… I mean, I never considered…" Peter frowns, obviously struggling. "And Spengler, I always pegged you for the monogamous type."

Egon shakes his head. "It's not a recurring theme, but--"

"I said quiet," Peter interrupts. "I've done a lot of thinking. I'm doing this part out loud. Let me think out loud."

Egon mouths 'sorry.' He glances towards Ray worriedly, and Ray shrugs.

"I'm willing to give it a shot," Peter finally says. "Provided we take things slow. I don't-- I mean, I've done polyamory. Briefly, I have, but I've never… Not like this. I don't want to fuck anything up with you two, okay? You're my best friends. But I've thought about this all day, and if it's what you really want, and you're not just fucking with me, I'll give it a shot."

Ray feels his stomach flip.

"Honest?" He asks meekly. "You really mean it?"

Peter laughs nervously. "Honest." He puts his hands flat on the table in front of him. "I've laid myself out here, metaphorically speaking. Just… don't blame me if things don't work. It's not that I expect this to fail or anything, I just don't want to risk it."

"If it doesn't work, it doesn't work," Egon says decidedly. "It won't be more than that. Friendship is the most important thing here."

Ray hesitates and then places his free hand carefully over one of Peter's. 

"Thank you, Pete," He says. "Really. I didn't expect things to go over so well."

"Even if I wasn't interested, I'd have let you down easy," Peter promises. "You two are too geeky and soft for me to be mean. At least about something like this." 

Ray would have been offended if he wasn't so relieved.

They don't really talk about it again. At least, not for a while. Ray doesn't want to do or say anything out of the ordinary, because at this point, it's starting to feel like he just had a very,  _ very _ vivid dream.

It's three days later before any of them address anything. And it's not a conversation, either. It's Peter leaning over the counter to kiss Ray right on the mouth over breakfast.

He pulls away slowly, and Ray feels his face start to heat up with embarrassment.

"I wasn't--" 

"One of us had to do it first," Peter interrupts. "I knew it wasn't going to be Spengler. I thought you would. But you didn't, so I had to do it myself."

Ray swallows down any words and nods. He curses himself internally for being so wimpy when it comes to these things -- even with Egon, as affectionate as he wanted to be, it took him a while to gather the courage.

Decidedly, he leans over the counter and kisses Peter again. One of Peter's hands lifts to cup his cheek, and any idea Ray had about Peter regretting this fades away when it becomes clear that this is definitely something he wants, too.

"I could get used to that," Peter says, once the kiss breaks. There's a hint of red in his cheeks that Ray can't help but be proud of.

"You can," Ray agrees. "You will. It's gonna happen a lot more from here on out."

Peter nods. He drums his fingers on the table.

"Do you have anything to do today?" He asks.

Ray shakes his head, taking a bite of his toast and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Nothing."

Peter hesitates. He looks… almost nervous. It's uncharacteristic for him, but Ray finds it endearing. Seeing Peter nervous usually means something bad. In this case, though, it just means that he cares.

"You and Spengler wanna go catch a movie?" Peter asks, still drumming his fingers on the table rhythmically. "I'm usually not into the whole going on dates thing, you know." He laughs. "You know. I never really care that much. But I thought, with you two--"

"No, that'd be great!" Ray interrupts. "That'd be awesome, Peter, definitely."

Peter smiles. He sits back in his chair. "Great."

Ray nods and takes one more bite of his toast, standing up and pressing a kiss to Peter's temple. "I'll go talk to Egon now. I know you get all fussy when he makes you wear goggles even though you aren't working on anything."

Peter flashes a grin and picks up the last of Ray's breakfast, shoving it in his mouth. "You know me too well."

"It's part of the job," Ray says. He smiles in a way that he hopes conveys just how glad he is things worked out.

Egon manages to keep his movie critiquing to a minimum in the actual theater, though if there was more, Ray wouldn't have noticed it. He was too busy thinking about Egon's hand in his, and Peter's arm around his back, one of his hands resting on Egon's shoulder. He pinched himself a couple times, periodically, to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"That was subpar," Egon says as they're driving back to the firehouse. "Too many plot holes. Shoddy writing."

"Like you could do much better," Ray quips. Egon huffs. 

"I don't know," Peter says, leaning forward over their shoulders from the seat behind them. "I had fun. But you're right, Ray. If Egon here wrote a movie it would be pretentious bullshit and we all know it."

"Don't assume, Peter," Egon tells him, a smile twisting at his lips. "I know a thing or two about the things that people like to see."

Peter raises an eyebrow. "What's that, then?"

"Matters of the heart," Egon says simply. 

Ray has to look out the window to hide his smile.

It's barely past nine thirty when they get back, but Ray has found himself tiring easily as of late. He yawns and tugs the sleeve of Egon's shirt. "Come on, Egie, I wanna go to bed."

Egon laughs and gently pries Ray's hand from his shirt.

"I have some work to finish up in the lab," He says, glancing towards Peter. "Venkman, I actually need your help with something."

_ "His  _ help?" Ray asks, at the same time that Peter matches his incredulous tone in asking,  _ "My _ help?"

Egon nods. "I've been putting it off until last, because of the situation last time with the safety goggles, but I do need your help."

Peter nods. "Alright, I guess."

Ray feels a frown tugging at his lips. "You don't need my help?"

"You're tired," Egon says. He leans forward, cupping one of Ray's cheeks in his palm and pulling him into a quick kiss. Ray can feel him smile. "Go to bed. I'll be done quickly, I promise."

Ray grins.

"Okay," He says, but he's a little bit more awake now.

Ray knows it hasn't been, but it sure does feel like it's been hours since he first tried to fall asleep. His body needs the rest, but his mind is buzzing.

He pretends not to notice when the door opens, until Egon lifts the blanket and lays down next to him.

"You finished?" Ray asks sleepily.

Egon wraps his arms around Ray and pulls him close. "Yeah. Did I wake you?"

Ray shakes his head, shifting to bury his face in Egon's chest. "I've just been up thinking, 's all."

"What about?"

"Oh, y'know." Ray shrugs. "You and Pete. How different things are gonna be. How I've never seen him like this, have you ever seen him so nervous before?"

"I haven't," Egon admits. "And I…" He stops.

Ray frowns. "What?"

"I don't want anything to change between me and you," Egon says softly. "I love Peter, but I can't help but worry that this will cause me to lose you."

Ray bites back any questions he had about why Peter wasn't staying with them for the night and shakes his head.

"I'm not going anywhere," He promises. "You don't need to worry about it."

To be honest, Ray was worried about the same thing. Egon and Peter leaving him to be together.

Egon pulls Ray closer to him and mutters, "Goodnight, Ray."

Ray takes a deep, shaky breath in. "Night, Egie."

Things continue on like that for a while. 

They don't tell Winston, Janine, or Louis, because they're still kind of figuring everything out and there's this unspoken idea that something might go wrong.

Ray doesn't doubt either of his boyfriends, though he can't help but worry that maybe they don't love him as much as he loves them. He's plagued with worries that Peter might change his mind, or that Egon might change his mind. Maybe they don't love each other enough. Maybe they love each other  _ too much _ and they'll end up leaving him.

He shakes those thoughts out. He knows he's just being paranoid.

Peter has a reputation as a womanizer. Ray and Egon have encouraged him to keep it up if he needs to, and he does. He's withdrawn from it, though. Just a little bit. Which makes Ray feel a lot better.

"How was Julie?" Ray asks, watching as Peter flops down on the couch next to Egon. 

Peter wraps an arm around Egon's shoulder. "Oh, she's great. So is her girlfriend. They're thinking about talking to Ann's parents, though, so I might have to find a new girl."

"Shouldn't be too hard for you," Egon observes. "With what you coined, Venkman charm and all."

"Yeah, you're right." Peter grins. "Very observant. Works every time. How do you think I bagged you two?"

"Peter--" Ray starts. 

"I believe  _ we _ approached  _ you?"  _ Egon raises an eyebrow.

"More like I couldn't keep my fat mouth shut," Ray corrects. "If I recall correctly. It was quiet, so I panicked."

"It was my idea, though, Ray."

Peter raises an eyebrow. "Was it?"

"Well  _ I've _ been in love with Peter since  _ college!"  _

"Have you now?"

"Quiet, Peter," Egon says, standing slowly. "Ray, when did you fall in love with  _ me?"  _

Ray scrambles up. "Also college."

"And I you."

_ "What _ is happening here?" Peter asks.

Ray holds up a hand to silence him.

"That's a pretty big investment, huh?"

And suddenly, Egon's lips are on Ray's and he's being kissed like he's never been kissed before.

So, yeah. He's not all that worried about Egon leaving him anymore.

Peter laughs behind them. 

"Oh man," He says. "I had no idea you two were like this. I'm so glad I got myself involved, you have no idea."

Ray pulls back and smiles sheepishly. "We always kept it behind closed doors. But there's nobody else here, so… I guess we don't need to close any doors."

"Yeah," Peter says, standing up and gently prying Ray from Egon's grip to press their lips together. Ray smiles into the kiss.

"You're so unassuming," Peter tells him.

Ray laughs. "You never are."

He leans forward and reconnects his and Peter's lips, pushing his boyfriend back down on the couch.

Ray and Egon go to sleep without Peter again.

"Don't you think we should tell someone?" Ray asks. "Just so we can act normal? Or, as normal as we can like this."

Egon sighs. He wraps his arm around Ray. 

"Of course I think we should tell someone," He says, words paced and full of thought. "It would make things infinitely easier, with how comfortable we clearly are together. But Peter requested that we keep quiet, and we should listen to him."

"You're right," Ray says, because Egon is always right. He buries his face in Egon's chest. "I'm just worried that he's not all-in like we are."

"And if he decides that he doesn't like this, that's okay," Egon promises. "I know you'll be hurt. I will be, too. But we have each other. Peter wouldn't be so selfish as to say that we couldn't go on without him."

"And if he did?" Ray can't help but ask. 

Egon presses a kiss to the top of Ray's head. "I wouldn't listen to him. You mean too much to me."

Ray lets out a soft sigh.

"Okay," He says. "We'll be okay. All three of us, we'll be okay."

Apparently, Winston is due much more credit than he gets when it comes to observations.

"Your turn for the dishes," Peter says, even though Ray clearly knows that it's his turn by the way he's standing over the sink about to do the dishes.

Peter slings an arm over his shoulder, dropping a plate in the sink. 

"Thanks, Venkman," Ray says. "I almost forgot."

"It's what I'm here for." Peter clicks his tongue, and then he's gone. 

Winston shuts the fridge, checks to make sure Peter is gone, and then leans forward against the counter next to where Ray is doing the dishes.

"How long have you had a thing for Venkman?" He asks.

Ray feels his heart catch in his throat. Is he really that obvious?

"I'm with Egon," He says. He hates to lie, and he refuses to do it, but withholding the truth a little bit….

"Bullshit," Winston says.

Ray sighs. "Come on, Winston, I can't do this right now." He hesitates. "If you really need to know… since college."

Winston nods. "You told him yet?"

Ray hesitates. "Yeah."

"And…?"

Ray swallows, hard.

"I'm not a brick wall, Ray," Winston says. "I see how you three are. I just was hoping you guys would say something about it."

"I was going to," Ray promises. "Or, I mean, I wanted to. So did Egon. But Peter said… I mean, he's not comfortable, and approaching him was hard enough. We didn't want to push him. God, Z, it's so great that you figured it out. Really."

Winston laughs. "You're not exactly subtle. You specifically, you wear your heart on your sleeve."

Ray smiles hesitantly. "And… Janine and Louis?"

"Oh, they don't have a clue," Winston promises. "Too caught up in their own stuff. I'm pretty sure Louis is gonna pop the question."

"What makes you say that?" Ray asks, lifting an eyebrow.

Winston shrugs. "Sneaking suspicion. Also he asked me if he should do it."

"Yes, that would do it," Ray says with a soft snicker. "Good for them, yeah. And maybe we'll tell them eventually. It's just… y'know, Peter asked, and we didn't…"

"You didn't want to scare him off," Winston finishes. "I get it. Just talk to him, though, because I really don't think he's going anywhere."

A smile finds its way to Ray's face. "Thanks, Z."

Winston gives a nod. "No problem. And you don't have to mention to him that I know if you don't want to, I can keep quiet."

"I don't think he'll mind all that much." Ray laughs softly. 

"I'm happy for you guys," Winston says. He smiles. "I'm turning in for the night. You got this?"

Ray looks down at the sink full of dishes in front of him. "Yeah, it's fine."

Winston nods and claps a hand on Ray's shoulder. "Talk to you tomorrow."

Ray nods, honing in on the dishes, but a sense of relief sweeps over his body. Winston knows, and everything is okay.

"Got a new girlfriend," Peter announces, while Ray is heating up leftover pizza. Egon glances up from his newspaper to watch Peter sit down at the table across from him. He snatches the paper from Egon. 

"Nobody else is here, Peter," Egon says. Ray presses the microwave open and takes out his plate, setting it down at the empty place and taking his seat. "Who's your new beard?"

"Dana Barrett," Peter says, carefully pronouncing each syllable. "She actually approached me. I had to tell her."

_ "She  _ approached  _ you?" _ Ray asks through a mouthful of pizza. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "After how everything ended between you two? Twice?"

Peter shakes his head quickly. "You've got it all wrong. She approached me to be  _ her _ beard. Dana has a girlfriend."

Ray blinks. "Good for her." He pauses. "Zedd knows, by the way. I didn't tell him or anything. He figured it out."

Peter nods slowly. Ray can't help but hold his breath.

"That's good," Peter finally says. "I mean… Yeah. That's good. That's a good thing."

"Yes," Egon agrees. "Now, we can figure out sleeping arrangements."

"What about Janine and Louis?" Peter asks.

Egon shakes his head. "They got engaged last night. Janine told me all about it. They'll be too preoccupied to notice anything. That is, if they don't already know."

"They don't," Ray adds on. "If Janine knew, we would know. Louis I'm not as sure about, but he's not great at keeping secrets. Especially from Janine. So they definitely don't know anything."

Peter nods. He drums his fingers on the table.

"Movie tonight?" He finally asks. "It's been a while. I can invite Dana and her girlfriend, too. And we can all go to dinner afterwards."

"Sounds great!" Ray grins. 

Egon nods and stands up from his seat. "I'll be in the lab until then." He presses a kiss to the top of Ray's head. "Come and get me when you're ready." Another kiss, this one on Peter's temple. And then he's gone.

"You know," Peter starts, pointing a thumb in the direction Egon left in. "I had no idea he was such a sap."

Ray laughs, his head bobbing. "Yeah, I was surprised too. He's just not into PDA or anything.  _ Huge _ sap. It's unbelievable."

Peter smiles, still drumming his fingers on the table.

"I like it," He says decidedly. "All of this, I mean. I like it."

Ray breaks into a grin. "That's good. I like it too."

Ray never really fears for his life anymore, on busts. He's had enough near death situations to know that he can get out of them.

When you have an emotional stake with the people you're busting ghosts with… those are the times you get scared. Ray knows first-hand, ever since the beginning. The most scared he's been was always for his teammates.

And now is no exception. They're at the top of a building again --  _ again! _ \-- and Peter has managed to get himself thrown off. 

Everything goes slow motion as Ray watches Egon dive for Peter's hand to keep him from slipping, heels trying to dig into the roof to no avail. Ray feels like he's swimming through maple syrup trying to grab ahold of Egon and keep them both from falling.

And he does it. Somehow, he does it. He hears himself calling out for Winston's help, tugging Egon's hand until he can get a grip on Winston's too, and then…

And then he's falling. Something in the back of his mind is screaming,  _ I can't die, not right now _ , and his common sense tells him that this is the end, but… it can't be. Not even with the pavement getting closer, it can't be.

Ray wakes up in the hospital, a place where he has previously decided the laws of time and space never apply. He doesn't know how long he's been asleep, but once he blinks and rubs his eyes and is able to see clearly again, he can see Egon and Peter asleep in chairs across the room, and he concludes it's been a good bit of time.

His heart flutters, even though they look beaten up and awful. Egon's head is hanging forward, face buried in Peter's hair. Peter is curled up, almost entirely in Egon's lap, and contorted to accompany the cast and sling his arm is caught up in.

Ray's heart skips a beat when Peter wakes up with an unattractive snort, blinking and focusing in on Ray. He hesitates for a second.

"You two look terrible," Ray cracks, smiling shakily.

Peter looks frozen. Then, he shakes Egon awake.

"Spengs," He says, trying to wake Egon up nicely until he decidedly gives up and shoves Egon out of the hospital chair. "Egon!" 

Ray stifles a laugh, ignoring the pain in his chest as he watches Peter and Egon stumble over themselves to get to him. Egon takes Ray's hand in his quickly.

"Are you okay? How are you feeling? Do you need me to get a nurse?"

Ray shakes his head. "How long have you guys been here?"

Egon glances at the clock, then back at Ray. "A while. You knocked yourself out pretty hard."

"Yeah." Peter puts a hand on Ray's face, quickly withdrawing it when Ray winces. "You looked like you were dead, Ray. Don't  _ ever _ do that again. These have been the scariest hours of my life, I swear it."

Egon places his free hand on Peter's back. "Breathe, Pete. You're working yourself up."

"I'm fine," Ray promises. "Are you guys okay? How did everything go after?"

"Winston held the bastard off while I went and found a phone to call you an ambulance," Peter explains. "We knew… I mean, you wouldn't have wanted us to stop, would you? I wanted to, but Egon said…"

"No, God, no." Ray shakes his head quickly. "I'm glad you didn't. And I'm fine, and everything is okay." He hesitates. "And your arm?"

Peter smiles weakly. "I hit a concrete block when I got thrown up. Almost dead on, but it just got my arm. I'll be alright."

Ray nods slowly, eyes drifting between Peter and Egon.

"Sorry for scaring you," He finally says. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I'd let you both fall." 

Egon gives a small smile. "All that matters is you're okay." He leans over and kisses Ray's forehead lightly, just a brush of his lips, and despite all his injuries, Ray has never felt this safe, this okay, in his life.

Luckily, Ray is over his insane amounts of bed rest and back on his feet in time for Janine and Louis' wedding. Peter forfeited his plus one -- "Dana's out of town, she really wanted to come" -- but Ray knows for a fact that Dana  _ isn _ ' _ t _ out of town because he saw her at the supermarket this morning.

"What are you playing at?" He asks Peter quietly, as Janine and Louis are leaving the room. 

Peter shrugs and discreetly takes his hand, giving it a light squeeze. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it, alright? We'll talk later."

He runs a hand through Ray's hair lightly, and then he's gone. Ray turns to Egon and raises an eyebrow. Egon shrugs. 

“I can’t pretend to know what goes on inside his head,” Egon muses.

“You know Dana’s in town, right?” Ray asks him. “He’s obviously got something in mind. And boy, is she gonna be mad when she finds out that Peter skipped on getting her invited to the wedding. Her and Janine get on so well, too.”

“I’m sure he’s thought it over,” Egon promises, shifting to move a little closer to Ray and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Ray leans his head on Egon’s chest.

“Yeah,” He says softly. “You’re right. I trust him.” 

Ray watches Peter carefully over his shoulder while he’s staring in the mirror, tying his tie. 

“You thinking?” Peter asks. 

Ray gives a breathy laugh. “A little bit. Why?” 

Peter shrugs, moving slowly and purposefully to hook his head on Ray’s shoulder and wrap his arms around Ray’s waist. “You’ve got your thinking face on. You worried?”

“Peter, Janine and Louis are down the hall,” Ray hisses through gritted teeth. “I thought you wanted to be careful.”

Peter shrugs. “I mean, being as you and Spengs are my dates to their wedding today, I don’t see a problem with this. Unless you’d rather I stopped.”

Ray tenses. He blinks and then shifts in Peter’s arms, turning to look at him. “You serious?”

“Ray, I don’t know if you remember this, but you almost died recently,” Peter reminds him. Ray hangs his head, but Peter sticks his fingers under Ray’s chin and lifts his head so they’re making eye contact. “I realized that I don’t really care all that much what other people think. So, if you and Egon will have me, I’d like to go to Janine’s wedding as your date.” 

Ray hesitates, a slow grin spreading across his face. Then, he flings himself at Peter, planting a kiss right on his lips. His arms quickly wrap around Peter’s neck and Peter’s hands settle still on his waist.

“I love you,” Ray says quietly. 

A small smile plays at Peter’s lips. “I love you too. Now, I have to go get ready.” He gently pries Ray’s hands from around his neck. “I wouldn't want to make you and Egon look bad, would I?”

“You couldn’t,” Ray promises. “I’ll go drag Egon out of the lab. He probably lost track of time.” 

Peter gives a nod, and Ray can feel his eyes trailing him as he walks towards the door. 

Egon’s head is buried in a petri dish when Ray goes into the lab. He quietly grabs a pair of goggles from where they’re hanging by the door and slips them on because he  _ knows _ Egon will get pissed if he doesn’t. Then, he decides to pull a very Venkman move and sneak behind Egon while he’s working, carefully wrapping his arms around him and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck.

“Egie, you need to get ready,” He murmurs. “Janine will kill us if we’re late, and besides. You wouldn't want to keep your dates waiting, would you?”

Egon hesitates, still staring into the petri dish, so Ray kisses the back of his neck again, wrapping his arms a little tighter around Egon. 

“Dates,” Egon says, prying himself from Ray’s grip and turning to face him. “Did Peter come around? How did you talk him into it?”

“He did it himself,” Ray says, smiling a little wider. “He just told me. That’s why he said Dana couldn’t make it. He didn’t want her to come as his date, he wanted to go with us.”

Egon thinks it over for a second, but ultimately, he smiles. He puts his hands on Ray’s waist, kisses Ray’s nose, and says, “That’s great. That’s more than great. I’ll go get ready now.” 

Ray grins, putting his hands on either side of Egon’s face and pulling him into a kiss. 

“I’m excited,” He says. “I shouldn’t be this excited, I think. Are you excited? This is great. I know it doesn’t make all that much of a difference to you, because you don’t love PDA, but I think this is great and I’m really excited.”

Egon smiles a little bit wider. “I’m excited too, but you need to let me go get ready.”

Ray quickly takes his hands off of Egon’s face and smiles bashfully. “Sorry. Yeah, go get ready. Oh boy, I’m so excited.”

Egon gives Ray another smile and then pulls off his goggles and hangs them by the door on his way out. Ray can’t stop grinning, and he knows his face is going to hurt later, but he’s just too excited to stop. 

When they get back from the wedding, Ray is sure that Egon and Peter are just as tired out by Janine chewing them out as he is. 

“Gonna watch a movie,” Peter says, kissing Ray’s temple lightly. “You should get some sleep, though. Spengler, you awake enough for a movie?”

Egon nods, not fully awake for sure, and lets Peter guide him towards the couch. 

“I’ll be asleep, then. Join me when you’re ready,” Ray says, turning into the kitchen to make himself a glass of water and give himself a minute to reflect on the night.

To say that he felt good would be an understatement. There was something so freeing about not having to worry anymore, to be able to touch both of his boyfriends the way he would if nobody were around; innocently, lovingly, and to feel Peter’s hand on his back while they’re sitting, to have Egon’s hand in his. It’s like, in that moment, he realized that he already had everything he’d been waiting for his whole life.

He passes by the couch quietly on his way back to the bedroom.

“Egon, baby, I promise you’ll like it,” Peter is saying, leaning against one arm of the couch. Egon is sitting across the couch, arms folded. 

“I won’t watch it, you can’t make me. I’ll leave.”

Peter laughs, crawling across the couch to kiss Egon’s nose. “I guess you just don’t like to have fun, then?”

Egon is clearly trying to maintain his stoic expression, but a smile is pulling at his lips nonetheless. “I guess not.”

Peter sighs and collapses back against the couch, grabbing the remote. “Sucks to be you.” He rolls his eyes. “I guess we’ll watch something else, but only because I love you.”

Ray smiles to himself, quietly backing towards the stairs.

He thinks that maybe this is as good as it gets, and he couldn’t ask for anything more. 


End file.
